In my life there have been many times when I lost faith. I long ago lost faith in religions -- of any kind. Believing in things became a kind of game of tricking fools out of their money. So many people believed the world would end nearly every other day for that last 2000 years, with the attendent arrival of their favorite Messiah. Never happened.
There are various political parties throughout the Earth. There are many within my home country. They are busy trying to make everyone nationalists, communists, socialists, liberals, conservatives, militants and whatever else they can turn us into. I don't feel like it.
There are signs in the skies, there are calamities befalling all our homes in so many ways, whether imaginary or real, from weather or industry, caused by the Sun or caused by some asshole down the street with a machine gun. All the efforts our mothers made to raise their children right, all lost in the haze of smog, all flushed down the drain with the broken teeth and broken hearts.
The sciences can find the quadrillionth of a nanoseconds worth of energy in the hair on the nose of a flea living on a planet inside an electron. But here in the world we really live, their efforts are like wisps of cobwebs against the mindless propaganda of a thousand politicians. They shout at the top of their lungs all the lies that have always been shouted for thousands of years by power hungry nitwits that reduce our lives to ruin as soon as they possibly can.
There are those who would live forever, forgetting that there are already too many of us now, and that if they live even twice as long there can only be half as many children survive at all. There is no use in fighting this. It is like a tsunami of stupidity. Lunacy of magnitude 10.1 pervades our lives on every level of abstraction. And when the oceans sweep us away, we will be staring at the blank screens of our cell phones to reassure us that it was real.
I do not wish to die, to leave the world and the wonders of the Universe. Yet it is the destiny of everything and I cannot be special and avoid Death's touch. There is no use in hurrying, the touch will come soon enough. And then, when my lights have gone off, I will no longer know that there is anything wrong.